Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize