I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
