omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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