dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I would ride that face into the sunset
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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