Say something about gay babies.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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