he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
