ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
