I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
