sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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