Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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