I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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