i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
