can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
