Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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