thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
