I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
