its not stalking. its research.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
