Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
