we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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