Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
