Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize