Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
