It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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