Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
