Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
