i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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