There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
