I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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