I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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