He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
