Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
