My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Threesome in a minivan. New low
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
