somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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