Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
