I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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