just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
