The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Panties = found
Randomize
