Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
