I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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