I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
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