***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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