Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
