I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
