Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
