dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
