i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
