how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
