OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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