dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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