Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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