hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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