I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
