And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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