I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize