Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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