woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
