so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
