One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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