whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
