So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
