Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
