she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
